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2007-04-17 + 10:16 a.m. Once upon a time, long ago, I had words. Beautiful, tender, heart melting words. I had e-mails with poems and song lyrics, humor and wit. And I was safe. I gave words, and got words in return. My heart didn't have to take the leap of faith neccessary for Love. Now, instead of beautiful words I have music. Music is more poweful, more dangerous. There are no boundaries, no easy definitions. No words telling you that you're the one he's been waiting for all his life. Just feeling. Deep, real feeling. You have to trust that the words are there. And I've never been good with trust. Especially when it comes to trusting myself. And it hurts him. Every time we have an "Is this really going to work?" conversation, I can hear the hurt in his voice. Why is it only then, with my face lying against a tear stained pillow, that I realize just how much I mean to him, and he to me? It's just so much easier with words on a screen. I can read those. |